Thanks to Twilight, men are feeling a huge amount of pressure to be more romantic, more brooding, more in sensitive, overall they're supposed to be more lame. Nothing against Twilight, but to expect real life love to even remotely reflect these relationships is terrifying. The over protective nature of Edward and Jacob's persistence looks entirely dreamy on screen and on the pages of a book, but in real life? That's a recipe for a double restraining order.
Reasons why a Twilight relationship would never work:
1. No one should commit that fast. Doesn't it seem like they've only known each other for a few months by the time Bella and Edward are confessing eternal love? How many couples did you see in high school that swore it was forever only to break up right before the next school dance? That relationship would be so suffocating even a vampire would be gasping for air.
2. It would get really embarrassing if your boyfriend was shirtless as often as Jacob is. "Yeah, my boyfriend has a great body. Yes, he also happens to be a tool." Also, how annoying would it be if your boyfriend sparkled in the sunlight? No girls should be expected to tote around a guy who looks like a left over scrap of fabric from Lady GaGa's tour outfits.
3. No man is worth the amount of near death experiences that Bella gets involved in. How many times does she almost die? When does it get to be too much? I think after the third attack any reasonable woman would be out of there.
4. Stripped of all fantasy elements, the love story of Bella and Edward is no better than the relationship between Nicolas Cage and Deborah Foreman in Valley Girl. It's sort of like the cliche that every girl falls for a bad boy at one point in her life. In this alternate universe the cliche is more like, every girl has a soft spot for a supernatural being or two. Without the excuse of being a 100 something year old vamp, Edward is just that moody kid no one talks to. Bella really is just a bored teenage girl and nothing is more exciting than a vampire who has a lot of enemies.
5. These guys don't act like actual men! Edward is a bit of a... pansy and Jacob's aggression is similar to that of his animal counterpart than a teenage guy. In real life dealing with these overly emotional and forward guys would be exhausting and lose it's novelty in about a month. Yet in the magical world of Twlight they manage to span it across 4 books.
